Success Through Failure: A Big Mistake I Made when I was young and dumb
When you are creating something, to get to the best possible outcome, sometimes you have to push through discomfort, push through fears. As a photographer, you have to take your clients with you on a journey past their comfort zone. When you do, you get the best results and the most beautiful images.
When I was just starting to photograph children, I made one of the biggest mistakes of my photography career. This was before I had children. I learned photography with high school seniors. I related well to them and really understood the senior perspective since I was still in my early 20s. My camera skills were competent and I began expanding into photographing children and families. Of course, I made rookie mistakes like putting the pacifier in the baby’s mouth upside down and posing mom taller than dad in every shot. But one day, I messed up in a way that completely changed my approach to photographing every type of subject, not just children. Looking back, I think it changed more than that, as well.
It all started with a normal children’s portrait session - two little girls in flowing white dresses on a floral backdrop twirling around and around. One of the little girls started to cry and I declared the session over. I walked with the mother and daughters up to the front of our studio and said goodbye. Then I went back down the hall to the frame room, left the door open and proceeded to complain about the session to my assistant. “I couldn’t believe how mean that mom was. She didn’t even care if her children were crying. No wonder I didn’t get very many good images.”
Little did I know that the mother had forgotten something in the dressing room, slipped back into the studio to grab it and heard what I was saying. In tears, she told my receptionist that she had overheard me and would not be back ever again!
I couldn’t believe what I had done and I wanted to make it right. The first thing I did was call the mom and profusely apologize. That wasn’t anything new I had to learn. Apologizing and taking responsibility for mistakes was something I had already practiced thoroughly. The mom graciously talked to me and explained what I didn’t understand about the portrait session. She had put so much effort into preparing for the session - doing their hair, ordering the dresses, scheduling and paying for the session. And she wanted beautiful portraits for her wall. It was inevitable that her daughters would go through all types of emotions during the session, but she was okay if they weren’t perfectly happy throughout. If they started crying, we could keep going and they would probably perk back up and get more great images.
Here’s what I learned - when you are creating something, to get to the best possible outcome, sometimes you have to push through discomfort, push through fears. As a photographer, you have to take your clients with you on a journey past their comfort zone. When you do, you get the best results and the most beautiful images. When I look back on the work I’ve created, the projects I’ve launched, and the businesses I’ve grown, I see that what I learned from that mom holds true, time and again. You have to push past the discomfort and the tears to get to the very best possible images, project result, and business outcomes. So, when I’m photographing a family session, now I don’t stop until everyone is crying - except me.
